10 Wrestling Tag Teams That Were Never Going To Work

by Andrew Soucek

1. The Johnsons

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TNA

The Shane Twins were quite the athletes. In their earlier days they were high school and college tennis champions. In professional wrestling they were two giant wieners.

The Johnsons were exactly what they sounded like, two guys dressed up in flesh colored latex with covered faces to look like a pair of penises. They burst onto the scene in the early days of TNA along with their manager Mortimer Plumtree. While there was a lot of terrible things in the early days of the company, The Johnsons were the worst (or Cheex). They only lasted a few weeks as someone came to their senses and realized there was no way the two could keep it up for long.

Even if it was Tiger Mask and Rey Mysterio Jr. under those masks, they couldn’t have made The Johnsons work. It was a gimmick that was dead the moment it was blurted out of someone’s mouth. Whoever came up with it (likely Vince Russo), and whoever approved it (likely Jeff Jarrett) owes The Shane Twins one gigantic apology.

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As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at." Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week. Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com