Genial Argentine Jorge González, a sufferer from acromegaly like Andre The Giant, The Big Show and The Great Khali, was snapped up by WCW in 1989 after failing to meet the requirements of the NBA. Billed at eight foot (but probably standing closer to 7 foot 7 inches tall), the newly-christened El Gigante debuted in May 1990 after a solid year of training, and proved to be well, bloody awful. Even given the limited moveset called for as a genuine giant, González couldnt work he couldnt ever figure out where he was supposed to be, what he was supposed to say and when he was supposed to do and say any of it. It wasnt his cringeworthy work as El Gigante that qualifies him for this list, though. No, when he was signed by the WWF to take on the Undertaker in 1993, González was renamed Giant Gonzales. Now bearded, his ring gear basically consisted of a full bodysuit, airbrushed to give the impression that the skinny González had the required musculature and tone, and covered in strategic patches of bushy hair to further the appearance of some bestial monster from the mountains of darkest Peru, or wherever he was supposed to hail from. If youre thinking that his outfit sounds suspiciously like a nude suit the kind of thing that actors wear to make it appear as if theyre naked on camera then youd be correct. At Wrestlemania IX, the Undertaker was chloroformed into unconsciousness by an enormous naked man. In broad daylight. Were fairly certain no one in the WWF office properly thought this through.
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
