18 Image Changes WWE Wrestlers Should Never Have Tried

15. When Is A Metaphor Not A Metaphor?

Answer: when it€™s sitting on top of your head. Given the nickname €˜The Gold Standard€™, renowned athlete Shelton Benjamin decided that the best way of representing this new approach to his character was to physically embody it, by bleaching his very short hair into a peroxide/golden smear. Like a car crash that you can€™t stop staring at, rubbernecking at Benjamin€™s barnet became a wrestling fan€™s favourite pastime in 2007. Some sniggered, some shook their heads in dismay, but no one could tear their eyes away from it for long enough to see if what he was doing in the ring was worth watching. The incredible distraction quotient of Shelton Benjamin€™s hair meant that, essentially, he had his very own heel valet growing out of his head. Rumours that €˜Goldie€™ has just signed a contract with Vivid Entertainment are unconfirmed as this article went to press.
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Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.