20 Reasons Why WWE Fastlane 2019 Was An Absolute Mess

In which Mustafa Ali becomes Rey Mysterio circa 2014.

Nia Jax Tamina Shite

WWE Fastlane 2019 was an entertaining little pro-wrestling pay-per-view.

When it was good, it was very good. The berserk United States, Raw/SmackDown Tag Team, and WWE Title matches knocked it out of the park. The right people won for the most part, and The Shield's post-main event embrace will go down as one of the feel-good moments of the year.

Simultaneously, WWE Fastlane 2019 was a car crash.

That's how WWE roll in 2019. Things happen just because, without a semblance of pre-planning or forethought, thus compounding their own erratic storytelling mechanisms. It's as exciting as it is troubling, because while WWE's modern methods do deliver the unexpected, it's hard to shake the feeling that they're doing everything on a whim, and that even the company aren't sure what they're doing.

Not disastrous enough to be a full-on trainwreck, Fastlane nonetheless produced all manner of head-scratching moments and unfortunate flubs, ranging from unsightly in-ring botches to the company hanging their own wrestlers out to dry. Fun to watch, but undeniably messy.

The Road to WrestleMania 35 should provide a respite, but god bless anyone who thinks they can make sense of this madness...

20. Is Shane Okay?

Nia Jax Tamina Shite

Shane McMahon is a hilarious professional wrestler.

Not just because his pitter-patter potato punches are legitimately the worst in wrestling (they look fake and hurt people), or because his 'Hardest Man Alive' shtick is wrestling's most mismatched character, but because the man is beyond gassed within a minute of the opening bell ringing.

Look at him: he's f*cked. It's incredible.

Last night's bout with The Usos wasn't as hilarious as the Royal Rumble, when Shane literally held his shirt down to prevent Cesaro's swing from exposing his gut. Still, he was bright red for the duration. This works when he's selling, as his real-life exhaustion plays into defensive periods, but it looks ridiculous when he's on offence.

Yes, there are reasons for the 49-year-old's declining state, but bore off and let us poke fun at an entitled billionaire's son, dweebs.


WhatCulture's Senior Wrestling Reporter, Presenter and Editor. Formerly Bleacher Report. Follow him on Twitter @andyhmurray.