5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (July 27)

3. Wrestling Fans In Perverts Shocker

Oh Please God No
WWE.com / Sgt. James Selesnick via Wiki Commons

To the uninitiated, the Daily Star is a UK-based softcore pornography magazine that masquerades as a rag of a newspaper. To use an accurate wrestling analogy for you, a wrestling-minded readership, it is exactly the sort of thing John Laurinaitis genuinely used as a Diva recruitment tool when he headed up Talent Relations in the dark pre-Triple H days.

According to it, a China-based company named DS Doll is set to release "the first generation of cyborg companion that can be "mass produced" and sold to an international customer base - "cyborg companion" being a euphemism for "a robot that you can shag". Shockingly, WWE wrestlers are among the most requested pre-orders. So yes, the same rotten, rotten ar*eholes that contributed to the hellscape that was the official WWE Twitter's Evolution announcement tweet aren't really "questioning the quality of the [potential] matches". They aren't worried that the "#metoo" movement is turning into a "witch hunt" (for f*ck's sake). They don't really want them to "get there (sic) own show on the Network" so that they can be removed from the shows they want to watch in RAW and SmackDown.

They do want to watch them on RAW and SmackDown...for all of two lonely minutes.

While we're on the subject, can somebody please stump up the cash and send one of these "cyborg companions" Kevin Dunn's way, so that he can gnaw on it to keep himself occupied while WWE presents actual women's wrestling?

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!