5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (July 6)
4. A Boundless Bump
Anthony Gaines gained much in the way of respect this week after performing a bump more Perfect than Perfect; at a recent Empire State Wrestling show, in a match held for the Empire State Wrestling Interstate Title, Ace Romero sent Gaines out of the state entirely as emphatically as WWE has overthrown the BritWres circuit.
The distance Gaines flew was astonishing - almost, but not quite, the same distance with which Shane McMahon misses a missed punch. The same distance by which WWE missed the mark when naming the WrestleMania 34 Women's Battle Royal after the Fabulous Moolah. The same distance Stephanie McMahon travels to go out of her way to commit utterly unnecessary mass burials. The same distance at which Eric Bischoff backtracks on his 83 Weeks podcast with Conrad Thompson. The same distance covering the epic, depressing chasm between WWE's creative output and the money it somehow contrives to generate.
The man was flung into absolute oblivion, joining Andrade 'Cien' Almas in the process.
There is another angle from which Gaines clobbers a cameraman. We'd insert a motion sickness warning here, but it's only marginally more shaky than Kevin Dunn directing any given WWE match.