5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (March 23)

3. Five Star Shutdown

Daniel Bryan Edited
Five Star Wrestling

In an absolute shocker, the Five Star Wrestling promotion operating out of England has announced its demise.

Five Star was the most ironically-named wrestling promotion of all time, unless they were referring not to match quality but live attendance. That is barely a joke; booking arenas with five-figure capacities (!), with the almost tragic optimism of a Zack Ryder, the promotion drew barely over a hundred punters to its recent UK shows, on which the much-touted "amazing wrestling shows with large scale productions" resembled the p*ss-poor, Australia-based World Wrestling All-Stars league of 2001.

The insane thing here is that the promotion even secured a TV deal in the first place. Sensing that the tactic works well enough for Road Dogg, the Five Star braintrust immediately booked a Gauntlet bout following the success of the Elimination Chamber go-home RAW. This was typical of the league, which, from the personnel phoning it in (hilariously, in the case of Carlito) to dire storytelling formulas, simply watched WWE and decided to imitate it...while spending as much money despite not having it.

If this reads as harsh or spiteful, consider the fact that promotor Dan Hinkles last year convinced several British-based talents to commit to its preposterous World Cup concept, in which 128 wrestlers were set to compete. With more acts than fans, this was an absolutely moronic idea that put several performers, scrambling to pad out the inevitably cancelled dates, out of pocket.

Don't cry for Five Star Wrestling. Cannibalising the worst of WWE formulas, they were already dead.

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!