5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (Nov 9)
In which The Undertaker isn’t the only dead man WWE ruthlessly exploited this week.
It's been seven days since WWE promoted Crown Jewel from...Crown Jewel, which acted as WWE's weird synonym for "that country everybody is giving us sh*t for running".
That's effectively what Hulk Hogan said in his capacity as Guest Host: "The power of Hulkamania, and the power of my Hulkamaniacs is stronger than ever, right here at the Crown Jewel, Jack!" Notably, he didn't say "Jill", for there was no Jill, Ronda, Sasha, Becky, or Alicia at the show. The Crown Jewel of WWE isn't a Ruby. Feigning enthusiasm, Corey Graves remarked that "This man is the inspiration for so many of us in the sports entertainment industry".
Who, your brother?
Hogan cut a short, generic promo. This was expected in a 'Guest Host' role that is essentially as redundant as that of a road agent. The expected propaganda didn't materialise; WWE removed their fingers from tone-deaf ears, and wisely elected not to celebrate the Saudi Kingdom in the wake of Jamal Khashoggi's murder. But, just before the company could listen to its audience, and produce results they actually wanted, those fingers were plugged back in.
You're bored of Brock Lesnar as Universal Champion? You think the Super Show-Down main event went far too long?
You think CM Punk is the Best In The World...?
5. Shane McMahon Is The Best In The World
In one notable respect, Shane McMahon is the worst professional wrestler in the world.
The worked punch should look painful, yet inflict no pain on the performer receiving it. Shane's worked punches look horrendous, and yet, when they don't miss by miles, they inflict pain. Shane McMahon has potatoes where his fists should be, and sweat where his skin should be. Yes, Shane McMahon can pull off a very good Coast To Coast, but he isn't the best wrestler in the world. He's barely even a wrestler.
At Crown Jewel, Shane McMahon won the World Cup to determine the best in the world.
This was priceless trolling, and while the whole thing is clearly leading to a heel turn of sorts, it doesn't detract from the idea that weeks' worth of television and eight full-time members of the roster were used as mere pretext to build a 48 year-old part-time wrestler as a top heel. Rey Mysterio is back! Let's write him off with an injury angle to make way for the f*cking money. Rey Mysterio can fly, can he?
Well, pal, the product of my semen can fly from one side of the ring to the other!
Say WWE books Daniel Bryan Vs. Shane McMahon for WrestleMania 35. It will be a good match, but is it really a good idea? Is it a good idea to pit a guy who throws a more errant worked punch than the actually blind Stan Hansen against a man prone to the odd concussion?