5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (Sept 14)
Tweets without a pause and rebels without a cause.
It has finally happened.
We have finally bore witness to the most lame sight one will ever see on WWE television and the most contrived sight one will ever see on WWE television.
Competition is fierce, obviously. It's WWE.
WWE is incredibly lame. On last week's episode of SmackDown, Zelina Vega breathed straight fire in the direction of Brie Bella by referring to her show not by its true name of Total Bellas, but Total Bores. Haha! It begins with a 'B', but is in fact an insult. WWE scripts its babyfaces to say naff b*llocks like 'Sparklecrotch' and 'I'm sorry that my comments about your vest last week got you fired from TGI Fridays', which confirmed Finn Bálor as the greatest worker on the planet because he still found a way to smile, as opposed to not spontaneously combust, immediately afterwards.
WWE is also incredibly contrived. When the company ramps up the promotion for the Money In The Bank pay-per-view, those unlucky enough to qualify for the eponymous matches are ordered to climb atop the ladders and hurl childish insults at one another.
This week, WWE unleashed the lamest and most contrived insult.
Of all time.
This made "snivelling, little suck-up sell-out full of sufferin' succotash, son" look like David f*cking Mamet...
5. Grash*tti
This week, the Bella Twins arrived at RAW to find their dressing room trashed by the Riott Squad. Those rascals!
They walked into the room acting really bloody annoying, even by their standards, when they're still meant to be babyfaces. When they walked inside, they were confronted with graffiti. This graffiti was lame and very, very confusing. 'BRIE MODE' and 'FEARLESS NIKKI' were crossed out, and in their place, the words 'RIOTT MODE' and 'FEARMORE NIKKI' were spray-painted over them.
It's difficult to tell what happened here, exactly. Did the Bella Twins spray 'BRIE MODE' and 'FEARLESS NIKKI' on the walls themselves, only for the Riott Squad to spray over that with the graffiti version of the dreaded "more like..." patter? Or did Ruby et al. write 'BRIE MODE' and 'FEARLESS NIKKI' on the walls, purely to cross 'em out? What the f*ck does 'FEARMORE NIKKI' even f*cking mean?
FEARMORE NIKKI.
Fearful, surely.
It's difficult to get over how awful this was. How could anybody possibly think this was a sick burn? The WWE creative department is an absolute joke. They're not merely a joke. They don't even know words!
"I think tonight, I'm gonna put down a riot," Brie said, which doesn't make sense. Nikki then panned the camera to herself nodding with a tough guy expression mugged all over her bracket. It was about as intimidating as her sister's entrance theme, or her ex-fella's STF.
Well, since we're apparently in store for Ronda Rousey Vs. Nikki Bella at Evolution, this, albeit accidentally, really made us want to see her arm get ripped off.