5 Ways Brock Lesnar Can Go Bell To Bell WWE Royal Rumble 2020

Imagine the camera panning over shocked faces as Brock is eliminated early on in the match. It could be someone who's sworn to defeat Lesnar (Matt Riddle), someone who the fans think is overdue for a title run (Drew McIntyre), or one of the usual suspects (Roman Reigns or Seth Rollins), but whoever throws Brock over that top rope is not going to see the Beast coolly walk away from the ring. To put things in technical terms that only marks are likely to get, that guy is getting f**king mullered.

But it won't be over for them. We'll keep switching the camera to the paramedics at ringside as they get the guy up on a stretcher and start to take him to the back. Kofi's traditional spot will see him land on the gurney and direct them to wheel him back to the ring. And then we'll see the newly crowned Beast T*sser (who wouldn't buy that t-shirt?) wheeled backstage.

The battle will go on for ten more minutes before we see this hero return, staggering down the aisle to the match that they were never eliminated from, which Michael Cole will be sure to tell us approximately 47 times in the next three minutes. Meanwhile, the crowd will start chanting "Beast T*sser, Beast T*sser, Beast T*sser" as he returns to the ring, somehow already wearing the new t-shirt that the WWE Store managed to whip up in the ten whole minutes he spent backstage. Beast T*sser will battle through the remaining half hour of the Royal Rumble, until only he and one other remains. The two will face off, each of them staring meaningfully at the WrestleMania sign, and then The Beast's music will hit.

Lesnar, having had a 40-minute power nap backstage in Vince's lap will stomp down to the ring, throw a ladder at a cameraman because this is how he enters matches late now, and eliminate the person who eliminated him. To make a point, he'll rain on the winner of the Rumble's parade by hurling him out too, making Brock the first person in the ring and the last one to leave, then he'll stroll back up the aisle.

This will set up a title match between The Beast and The Beast T*sser at WrestleMania, just as it would have done had the Beast T*sser won the match. And the winner of the Rumble? Well, he's just not special enough to have naps on Vince's warm and soft lap now, is he?