6 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (April 7)
4. Michael Cole Doesn't Know What The WWE Draft Is
Vince McMahon announced the "Superstar Shakeup" on Monday's post-'Mania RAW - a name which would have fit snugly into old WWF Coliseum Video collections like "Smack 'Em Whack 'Em" and "Crunch Classic".
Michael Cole was completely oblivious. "There's gonna be a "Superstar Shakeup" - whatever that means!" he cried in that inherently insincere voice of his.
Jesus Christ.
The contempt this company has for its fans is astonishing. Cole is positioned not as a traditional play-by-plan man but as audience surrogate, guiding the viewer at home through the show with endless exposition and feigned ignorance. F*cking Eugene Dinsmore could infer from the name alone that it was a variation of the Draft - but Cole and by extension the WWE Universe was unable grasp the concept. Any notion that WWE had positioned Roman Reigns as some sort of postmodern tweener in the opening segment was dispelled instantly. Us fans are clearly unable to receive such a nuanced character. We are idiots too stupid to know what we want, after all. We boo who we are meant to cheer, and we cheer who we are meant to boo!
Cole was even drafted from SmackDown to RAW in 2008, for Christ's sake. If he could get drafted to Impact Wrestling in 2017, that'd be super.