7 Ups & 2 Downs From Last Night's NXT (May 13)

If intergalactic space aliens landed on planet earth tomorrow, what would they think of professional wrestling?

A simulated, theatrical combat sport that's partly-improvised as a form of performance art is pretty easy to explain when there's a raucous live crowd just over the barrier. "As yes" they might muse, "the large earthlings feign to kill one another to impress and extract currency from the smaller ones. Truly, this is the pinnacle of both their commerce and their culture".

Without anybody in attendance though, it's just two men, not quite hitting each other as hard as it looks while, hundreds of miles away, thousands of people tune in and watch the whole thing while sat in relative silence. Energy is expended, very little is gained, and yes, I do have a lot of spare time to just think about things these days, why do you ask?

Anyway, since you're here, we might as well have a look at all the terrestrial force being exerted by Essential Service NXT this week. Plus, to really ram home this pained intro, Triple H and Shawn Michaels are on the show. Take us to your leader, indeed!