8 Disturbing WWE Raw Moments You Totally Don't Remember

4. Moppy Meets Her Maker (17 September 2001)

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After shooting on jobber Mike Bell when he lost his temper with him in the ring, Perry Saturn was punished by WWF management... by undergoing a gimmick change, becoming supposedly brain damaged after head trauma. Saturn began acting and speaking nonsensically, allegedly as the result of a concussion, uttering the non sequitur phrase 'you're welcome' at random intervals, and falling in love with a mop, which he named 'Moppy'.

I know you have questions. I have no answers for you, apart from confirming that yes, a hugely muscled, heavily tattooed man having the mind of a child due to repeated blows to the head is a perfect storyline for a professional wrestling promotion that deals with actual concussions.

Feuding with Raven and his ex-girlfriend Terri Runnels, who was put out at being put out in favour of a kitchen cleaning tool, Saturn would find to his horror that the gruesome twosome had kidnapped his lady love and... well.

Poor Perry was, for these few weeks, surprisingly over as a sympathetic midcard babyface, and his relationship with the demure mop-next-door Moppy was a pretty popular one with fans... so when Raven fed the love of Perry's life to a woodchipper, the crowd rioted, tearing the arena apart and, finding Raven and Runnels backstage, lynching the pair of them in a carnival of gleeful vengeance. Well, either that or Saturn achieved his revenge by beating Raven at Unforgiven the week after. One of the two.

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Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.