After the WCW/ECW/WWF Invasion angle went south, Vince McMahons next crazy boss is crazy stunt was the creation of the Kiss My Ass Club. The individual details would vary, but essentially it boiled down to McMahon demanding that people who had offended him kneel to kiss his bare buttock in the middle of the ring, on national television. Naturally, there was a kayfabed threat of a suspension or a sacking involved if they refused. Poor old William Regal was the first casualty of RAW (you see what we did there?) in 2001, having already been fired when he sided with WCW in the Invasion. Desperate for his job back, the hardest Englishman in wrestling readily puckered up to the boss. One might say that Regal was a glute-on for punishment, if one was a fan of godawful puns but were not, so we wont. Incredibly, McMahon tried the gimmick on Stone Cold next, and received a pantsless low blow for his trouble. Jim Ross laughed at this, and was told that he was next. Good Old J.R. refused to join the club but was forced into it by the Undertaker, who was having the time of his life in the American Badass persona and finally got to turn heel without it being some form of supernatural phenomenon. Poor Trish Stratus was next, as punishment for her babyface slap to his kisser at Wrestlemania X-Seven earlier in the year. She was saved by The Rock, who tried to have the Kiss My Ass Club closed down; it didnt work, as in 2003 Zach Gowen (the one-legged wrestling toothpick) was offered a WWE contract in exchange for joining the club, but chose to attack McMahon instead. During McMahons feud with Shawn Michaels in 2006, HBKs old partner Marty Jannetty was nearly forced to join, but McMahon chose to feed him to Chris Masters instead. Michaels himself would be forced to join when Shane McMahon, heel again for no real reason, knocked him out and smooshed his face into the old mans butt. At Wrestlemania 22, HBK would get his revenge and do likewise to Shane, nearly creating a two-McMahon human centipede. Triple H was next a couple of months later, but outsmarted Shane and Vince when they tried to dope him first. Mick Foley voluntarily joined the club two months after that in order to save his friend Melinas job: Melina would, however, turn heel on him shortly afterwards, and McMahon fired Foley anyway. Finally, McMahon tried to get his alleged son, Hornswoggle, to join the club in some version of the tough love school of parenting: the former leprechaun bit McMahons ass instead, but apparently that counts, lip having touched butt. No, we cant quite believe weve typed that sentence either. Whats your favourite utterly nonsensical punishment meted out by a petty WWE authority figure? Tell us all about it in the comments
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.