9 Match Star Ratings For AEW Double Or Nothing 2020
1. The Elite Vs. The Inner Circle - Stadium Stampede Match
Cinematic; pre-taped; comedy; "other": whatever this genre is, not that Stadium Stampede belongs alongside the faint analogues it painted over with a line marker, requires wrestling to make it work. Otherwise, it's interesting character work at best, or witless set-pieces welded clumsily to regulation because-we-have-to walk-and-brawls.
This was genuinely funny, absurd, self-effacing comedy fused with and germane to incredible professional wrestling. This was a towering achievement of backs-against-the-wall creativity.
This was professional wrestling and its most creative players getting the supergroup right before rock n' roll did.
Dave Meltzer said that he knew Jon Moxley Vs. Tomohiro Ishii was a ***** match within 17 seconds. I knew this was going to be t*ts the second the Inner Circle charged out through outrageous fire pyro and smoke in full football regalia. The creativity and investment was palpable - they had cheerleaders chant Sammy Guevara's name after he executed a stunning shooting star press, for f*ck's sake - as was a stunning acknowledgement and embrace of this new heightened reality. Blood and Guts wouldn't have worked in this setting. This did.
After some great multi-man wrestling spots in this comedy wrestling match - the best of which saw Matt Jackson flatten Le Sex Gods with a moonsault off the crossbar - the action splintered into three subplots. Kenny Omega took a deranged bump to disadvantage Matt Hardy, who used his supernatural abilities in a series of great nostalgic sight gags to confound Santana and Ortiz. Hangman Page alighted from his horse (!) to drink beer, and was joined by Jake Hager. This was so great.
Somebody has clearly told Hager, look, you look a bit thick. You play the dumbass western bar bum who feels no pain. And he did! Brilliantly! He took worked glass bottles to the head, over and over again, as Hangman Page performed a jaw-dropping backflip to get out of harm's way. He was joined by Kenny Omega, they launched a tremendous Buckshot lariat combo, and they made friends. The range of this thing was outstanding. It was hilarious, violent, even touching.
Chris Jericho meanwhile paid homage to the Simpsons by taking footballs to the groin, and took a priceless stumble bump into a practise goal. He also hit Jaxson de Ville with the Judas Effect because being a d*ckhead is funny and he is wrestling's quintessential d*ckhead. He is Le D*ckhead.
Sammy Guevara, thinking he'd won, over-celebrated in his Prince D*ckhead role before realising that he hadn't "won". He'd been successfully herded into a pen in a Stadium Stampede match that, in addition to everything else, boasted actual psychology logical to its own, amazing, demented context.
He took the highest, most insane One-Winged Angel ever, the Elite won, they reunited, and all - this actually felt true for a few minutes - was right with an unrecognisable world.
Star Rating: ★★★★¾