Asuka: Where Did It All Go Wrong?

Watch this retrospective of Asuka’s legendary NXT career.

It’s absolutely incredible, even by the stratospheric standards of WWE’s video production department. In it, we see the Asuka we were once in awe of. She punches bags with such ferocity that you can barely make out her hands. She sashays seductively on the top rope, mask in mouth, transmitting a fierce feminine energy in a pose that makes no apologies for but does not over-emphasise her sexuality. She caves faces in her with her gruesomely stiff kicks. She teleports across the ring and attacks her opponents in an exhilarating blur. She titters in delight at her invincibility—“Did you see that?”—in the process becoming the impossible: an endearing psychopath. Watching it now is a depressing experience. Asuka was as charismatic as she was ultra-talented. Was.

We saw little of this Asuka on the main roster.

We instead saw Asuka bamboozled by James b*stard Ellsworth. Her “kryptonite” wasn’t a meticulously-built opponent. It wasn’t Ronda Rousey. It was the very manifestation of a one-note comedy act. The contrast between that video and the events of Extreme Rules 2018 is just f*cking preposterous.

With the Evolution pay-per-view imminent, WWE, aspiring once more to progressivism (as critical acclaim), has consciously reverted from type. The Ronda Rousey era has begun in earnest. Carmella’s antagonistic crusade is over. With a cynical sense of timing, WWE has suddenly and artificially created an environment in which talent and entertainment takes precedent over superficiality and provocation - just in time! Even if Asuka turns heel, as seems the inevitable stopgap approach, she may do post-Evolution, when the old habits kick in. They always do.

There are two WWEs: Triple H’s earnest attempts to bring forth a new era—it’s all a money-making exercise, but his exercise at least values great performers—become on the main roster Stephanie McMahon’s empty parade of encomiums.

What went wrong with Asuka in WWE? She was a Superstar in Triple H’s WWE, and another hapless driver to a cheap heel push in Vince McMahon’s.

She joined the wrong company, provided she isn’t content with collecting the best possible payday. She naturally struggled to get over within the main roster’s over-written segment-driven formula. Deviating from that formula, and booking Asuka in bespoke segments devised to accentuate her unique character, was too much like hard work. So b*llocks to that, eh?

In conclusion, Asuka is Japanese.