Goldberg's 9 WWE Losses - From Cleanest To Screwiest
When did Da Man do da job?
Goldberg is a difficult wrestler to get a couple of hundred words intro out of because his aura, his value, belies a written description.
Much like there is no possible way of describing a storm as powerfully as the power of the storm itself, Goldberg radiated and conducted an intense sense of energy that was unparalleled in wrestling history. He rendered suspension of disbelief easy. His knee bar might have been laughably bad on a technical level, but the emotional logic behind his act allowed him to generate a gladiatorial combat sports energy combined with the pageantry of a pro wrestling theatre.
People - misinformed people - say that he never knew how to work.
The man could squat down, register the imminent spear, and make arenas lose their collective minds. On a TV show, he could make a huge stadium of fans lose their collective minds. That's how over he was.
In WCW.
In WWE, they didn't get him, and when they finally did - only took them 13 years, the idiots - he was only good for one great match.
He sold and sold when nobody wanted to see that - but how often did he actually lose, and how?
9. Vs. Braun Strowman (WrestleMania 36)
The 'Too Big For Just One Night' tagline was a rather unconvincing euphemism for 'Even We Don't Expect You To Sit Through Six Non-Stop Hours Of This Depressing Trash'.
WWE went easy on its fans at the bleak closed-set WrestleMania 36 by extending it across the Saturday and Sunday, and after Roman Reigns decided to look after his health and get the hell out of the Performance Center - not because the talents there aren't great at catching dives, but because the world was at the mercy of the COVID-19 pandemic - Vince looked at his empty death trap and settled upon Braun Strowman as the no. 1 contender to Goldberg's Universal title.
Goldberg charged to the post, missed. Attempted a body slam. Braun slipped out. Spear. Second spear. Kick-out. Third spear. Jackhammer attempt reversed into a power slam. Second power slam. Third power slam. Michael Hayes wrote this layout into his Notes app when taking a dump and left himself enough time to do the crossword.
Running power slam, and that's your lot: Goldberg just lost 100% clean in under three minutes.
Cleanliness rating: 100%