How WWE Fastlane 2019 Must End

Stephanie McMahon is to blame for all the bluster, because of course she is. The "Chief Brand Officer" has - unlike during her time as Head Of Creative (Vince McMahon's own opinion, not just that of this writer) - performed magnificently in her role. In 2017, we all rode the "Ultimate Thrill Ride" screaming out Pitbull's infectious "Green Light" along the way. Last year we were forced to "Celebrate" alongside Kid Rock for the second time in four years as the little horror popped AJ Styles and the other Da's with a ropey Hall Of Fame speech. Philanthropy might be the "future of marketing" but such synergy is rooted in cynicism.

That's why Fastlane exists. It's why Roadblock was briefly birthed. It's why WWE Speed Limit seems just a year or so away, and why wrestlers are potholes and speedbumps at this time of year instead of opponents. In the case of some, they'd have been better off lying motionless in the middle of a busy road than actually working the show.

Kevin Owens and Rusev wouldn't have been steamrolled half as brutally as they were at 2017's event. Despite his best efforts in 2015, Daniel Bryan couldn't blockade his own audience's disdain for Roman Reigns. AJ Styles was an exception to the rule last year, protecting a WrestleMania clash with Shinsuke Nakamura from John Cena's busy hands and look how that turned out. Wish 'The Champ' had been there at the 'Show Of Shows' instead of getting p*ssed in the crowd waiting for The Undertaker.

Indeed, Fastlane exists not because it needs to but because it has to, and is subsequently cursed for it.

But it's a New Day, yes it is...

CONT'D...