It’s Official: WWE RAW Can’t Get Any Worse

Damian Priest Xavier Woods tomatoes
WWE.com

The handicap match - nothing more than a sh*tty walk-and-punch brawl complete with heavy dumbsh*t grunting - ended via disqualification. The resulting tag team match ended via count-out. The main event of the show - Drew McIntyre Vs. Braun Strowman - ended when Drew succumbed to various distractions and lost via pinfall. The man who is set to contend for a World title at the next pay-per-view lost twice on the same television show. There are no rules. Nothing matters. It's the least entertaining pro wrestling chaos imaginable. WWE RAW in 2021 is like Vince Russo directing a bleak wartime drama.

After a rotten MizTV segment, Damian Priest interrupted the wacky, sh*tty acoustic "concert" to describe it as such. The word "rotten" acted as a cue; he revealed that he had hidden rotten tomatoes in a guitar case, with which he and the New Day pelted the heels. The produce was, in fact, fresh. Those tomatoes looked wonderful. Your writer doesn't even like tomatoes, but those suckers were glowing red. They were as red as Shane McMahon's face. Would it have killed them to find some rotten tomatoes? Or did they have no choice but to hop down to Whole Foods because Vince decided this sh*t would be f*cking hysterical at 6:52PM?

WWE can't even do juvenile slapstick correctly. What a pathetic scene. The worst wrestling is often compared to hardcore anal pornography, in that it's the very last thing you'd ever want your partner or parents to walk in on.

"It's...it's not what it looks like..."

CONT'D...(2 of 6)

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Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and surefire Undisputed WWE Universal Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!