John Cena Promises To Unleash SIXTH "Move Of Doom" Finisher

Don't study New Japan please.

John Cena Stupid
WWE

According to a new, official YouTube video released by WWE, John Cena has promised - or, gauging by more recent attempts to expand his in-ring arsenal, threatened - to debut a new finishing manoeuvre, adding to his infamous "five moves of doom".

These moves, for those who haven't been watching WWE for the last 80 years, include two flying shoulder blocks, a sit-out hip toss barely worth one, a side-release spin-out powerbomb in which he has somehow avoided giving his own feet the 'Misery' treatment, a "five knuckle shuffle" that evokes a rather ironic feeling of depression once it's finished, and the AA. Cena, promoting WWE's imminent inroad into the Chinese market, has admitted that the latter move has lost its impact in recent years (aside from when The Miz is on the receiving end, of course).

He's clearly taking the p*ss, but here's hoping that he doesn't take the p*ss out of himself. We've been here before.

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Cena retired his bastardisation of the Frankensteiner when it became apparent that he wasn't athletic enough to pull it off, and retired also his springboard Stunner. In both theory and application - he used it as a mere signature, and could barely actually apply it - it was an abomination. Any time Cena attempts a new move, it invariably fails, sometimes to the point of danger.

Here's hoping he's not been watching the G1 Climax, for everybody's sake.

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Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!