7. Royal Rumble 2016: The Royal Rumble Match (Winner Seth Rollins)
The Royal Rumble has been the site of so much controversy over the last few years, and the winner so predictable, that if I were The (Mc)Man at WWE, Id be looking to keep the crowd guessing and avoid any further bad publicity attaching itself to one of the companys oldest and most popular gimmick matches. After all, thats two, maybe three Rumbles weve all grumbled over, forcing them to engage in some innovative booking at Wrestlemania the last two years just to dig themselves out of the hole. Why not try something new in the Rumble itself? One novel way to do that would be for Rollins to finagle it so that hes entered into the battle royal. Its out of left field: but Im pretty sure the reigning champion has never competed in the Rumble before, so its got the advantage of being a new and fresh idea. Perhaps a returning Brock Lesnar enters the Rumble intending to get revenge on the Wyatts and nab that Wrestlemania title match for himself along the way and all Rollins can think of to do to stop the Beast from happening to him all over again, is to enter the Rumble himself and act as a human spoiler. All he has to do is catch Lesnar at a vulnerable moment and make sure hes hoisted over the top rope. Thats not so hard right? In an ideal world Id have Lesnar eliminated by Cesaro, whos got form for overturning monsters and winning important battle royals. Lesnar can then switch his little piggy rage-fogged eyes and indignant squawk to the Swiss Superman, leading to Lesnar winning a surprisingly competitive match at Wrestlemania 32 that cements Cesaro as a bona fide contender but lets face facts, Vincent Kennedy McMahon just isnt into him. Whatever the opposite of a hard on is, thats what he hasnt got for Cesaro. Whatever: Brock Im A Violent Douchecanoe Lesnar has got plenty of enemies, so any one (or five) of them would do. The important thing is that Lesnar goes over the top, and suddenly Rollins finds himself actually about to win the Royal Rumble, and become his own challenger at Wrestlemania 32. Its every weasels dream come true
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
