Royal Rumble By The Numbers WWE DON'T Want You To Know

Ahead of each year's Royal Rumble event, WWE runs a by the numbers By The Numbers video.

Well over 120 tonnes of flesh have entered the ring as part of the January spectacular, and even if this was all rolled into one monstrosity of a Superstar, they'd still get eliminated by about six normal-sized men seconds after Michael Cole hysterically guaranteed their victory. Roman Reigns holds the record for most eliminations, with 12 - or is that Braun Strowman now with 13? Does the Greatest Royal Rumble count, or what? It was rubbish, but then, so was the 2015 match. 27, a cursed number elsewhere in the entertainment industry, is lucky in Rumble lore, in that it has yielded the most winners - which means we probably won't see Mike Kanellis emerge from that spot on that same day this month.

It doesn't do much for the "nyuh WhatCulture is so negative" meme, anticipating the most fun night of the WWE pay-per-view calendar by taking a sh*t on it - but consider this a public service of sorts. More often than not this decade, WWE has ruined the most fun night of the pay-per-view calendar by taking a sh*t all over us.

So, with a tear in your eye, read on to learn that the most fun pay-per-view of the year, at times, is calculably abysmal!

Six is the total number of total jobbers eliminated by Shawn Michaels at the 1995 January edition of the Royal Rumble.

His performance in it is canonised in WWE lore as this incredible feat of stamina and athleticism and toughness, but in reality, he lasted only 38:41, and he only outlasted a field thinner than his excuses in Montreal.

Duke Droese was dumped by the Heartbreak Kid, as was Tom Prichard. Fellow tag act Bushwhacker Luke was also removed by Michaels, and it is at this point you can sort of forgive him for deeming himself so above the company. Jacob Blu followed, as did the other Bushwhacker, Butch, before Aldo Montoya completed what was a murdered row of enhancement talent.

This reads as unimpressive, but really, this was the WWF doing the opposite of what is standard practise now: using minimal resource to make a star. Compensating for a chronic lack of depth with a novel booking strategy, Shawn and the British Bulldog's Iron Men performances bookended a Rumble you can very much flick through. On this evidence, the dismal event poster makes sense. Mantaur, Kwang and Timothy Well hardly made up the classic design of a horde of walking, grunting competitors, and so, hilariously, Vince McMahon settled on an empty beach.

Aldo Montoya lasted longer in this Royal Rumble than WWE's most popular organic star lasted in...