The (Alternative) WWE Half-Year Awards

7. Long Service Award - WrestleMania 34

BROCK MAGICIAN Copy
WWE

Erika Magnusson and Daniel Andersson's avant-garde 2012 film Logistics, with its 857 hour run-time, serves as a mere matinee next to WrestleMania 34.

WWE's New Orleans supershow started around 5 PM ET on 8 April, and ended approximately ten minutes ago. It was an exercise in pure excess, as the company pondered, "if less is more, just think how much more 'more' is." For viewers across the pond, at one point WWE were literally showing highlights from the day before as the show was in progress, whilst John Cena, suffering as a fan for the first time, got up for an impromptu match with The Undertaker to alleviate the possibility of piles.

If you removed a human intestine and stretched it out, it could reach to the moon (or something). But it still wouldn't be as long as April's gluttonous show of shows.

Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.