The Day WWE NXT Died

The second fall was a Street Fight that folded in the usual tropes, but with every broken table it was impossible not to feel desensitised. This wasn't just a cliché of a match; it was a cliché of several matches, and every worn beat lost focus of the core principle: this is meant to hurt, and it's meant to build. This was masturbation.

The third fall was so painfully "NXT" that, at the precise moment the cage lowered, those initials became a more powerful weapon with which to bury itself than the chains, kendo sticks and fire extinguishers attached to what Mauro Ranallo - narrating a horror documentary for some reason - called a "sinister structure". "NXT" became an adequate description for NXT because it had defined itself as a cliché.

Mauro's evil voice sounded ridiculous. The cage looked ridiculous. The idea that these men even made it into such a ridiculous set-up was ridiculous. The resulting action was ridiculous. Poison 'ranas, multiple Panama Sunrises, finishers, weapon shots. In an era of getting s**t in, this was a septic tank of a professional wrestling match.

It stunk, and, since Adam Cole and Kyle O'Reilly are just now getting to the finish of their Unsanctioned match, the stench of overkill has never left NXT.