The Disturbing Truth Behind Paul Heyman’s WWE RAW

Heyman is showing his age in this war for the younger demographic. Perhaps he’s trying to “sex up” WWE storylines within PG parameters, but all that captivating, lurid shagging happens offscreen. Or perhaps it’s just this really weird thing that he does now, and it’s that simple. Maybe it’s schlocky tripe he is self-aware of, which he books for the express purpose of instigating WTF conversation under the idea that it will draw eyes to storylines of real importance.

SEX! Now that we have your attention, etc. etc.

What does it achieve? Or more to the point: how much damage does it do?

It is impossible to care about Mike Kanellis, but that’s acceptable. With respect to the man, who enjoyed a very respectable ROH run, he has never once meant a damn in WWE. But Rusev is different; he was once very over as a beloved cult babyface, and this new gimmick has removed him from his core appeal. Rusev was always best when delighted with himself. It was the rarest of charm; he could get away with laughing at his own jokes. And now he’s utterly miserable.

Give it a week, you might think, but did anybody, anywhere, wish for Rusev to stand up for himself? Or did they just laugh at him and this preposterous storyline in which he finds himself?

Historically, Heyman’s booking is far more uneven than his immense legacy indicates. Will it be revealed that Rusev was a total d*ck to Lana at a summer camp in Bulgaria when they were both 12, and she took comfort in the company of foreign exchange student Bobby Lashley, who was teased mercilessly by Rusev for his lisp? Is that why he is exacting revenge, all these years later?

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