The ONE WWE Superstar Who Never Lost Clean

Still, the clean and decisive win isn't really a thing in WWE, because they like to protect their babyface stars via f*ck finishes that double as transparent pretext for rematches. That verb has taken on an extreme irony in recent years, of course - they if anything require a gigantic f*cking shield to protect them from the writing staff - but that is the mentality, nonetheless, whether it's applied effectively or not. WWE's method of protection is a double rubber job, and it's no wonder the thrill of drama is often lacking.

Few were as protected as the Ultimate Warrior, and with sound reasoning. He was a megastar, megastars become megastars by winning a great deal, and he was so fundamentally abysmal as a pro wrestler that it's not as if he could (or should, from the perspective of his character) have gotten over in spirited defeat. He was an energetic lummox who radiated a rampant insanity the young 'uns conflated with charisma, and that look was something else. A balloon-muscled colour wheel, the Warrior looked like a living superhero designed by a focus group of giddy children.

An exceptionally ruthless and singleminded human being with no great love for his chosen profession, Warrior was an overnight sensation, pretty much, and this sparked a sense of entitlement within him. He didn't lose; he was paid very handsomely; he worked when he felt like it. Bret Hart, after watching Warrior tell a young, terminally ill fan to give him a "f*ckin' minute" - how many minutes did that child have? - described him as the worst role model he had ever seen. It was one of the nicer things said or written about this man.

CONT'D...(3 of 5)