The REAL Reason Nia Jax Was In WWE's 2019 Men's Royal Rumble

Is this progress... or punishment?

Nia Jax Andrade Royal Rumble 2019
WWE

Hearts sank like a submarine when the buzzer sounded for the 28th time during Sunday's men's Royal Rumble, as out walked Dolph freakin' Ziggler - despite expressly promising to give this year's edition a miss.

Rumours had abounded in the hours preceding the show hinting at a "big" surprise for the event, one which would inspire genuine emotion. Presumably, that implied emotion wasn't apathy; most of the (pretend) 47,000 in attendance just wanted The Showoff to sod off.

By logical deduction, Randy Orton was number 29, yet there was still one last hope. R-Truth's Mixed Match challenge victory guaranteed him the plum final position, but of all the people on the roster, the 47-year-old was surely the one you'd pick to be gratefully usurped mid-dance on the entrance way.

When it came his turn, fans sat on their hands expecting precisely that. And they weren't disappointed... except they were.

John Cena, again proving a medical marvel just hours after being ruled out through injury? Nope. Shawn Michaels, looking to restore the glory of a career voluntarily buried in the desert? Nada. Or, most incredibly of all, Roman Reigns - a return that'd provoke "genuine emotion" in a statue of John Major?

Of course not. Though we did get somebody from his family. No, not The Rock.

Nia Jax.

[CON'T. P1/4]

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Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.