The Sad Truth Behind Cesaro’s WWE Career
Cesaro debuted in 2012 under a weird and ineffective foreign menace/intellectual superior hybrid gimmick. He spoke five languages, where dumbass Americans butchered the language they borrowed. It didn’t get over because it was unimaginative and outdated, and the dominant squash match formula didn’t flatter his explosive in-ring game. He then caught a bad case of the Such Good Sh*ts when Vince, dreaming up a vision of simply “a European”, decided Cesaro should yodel his way to the ring. Yodelling is at most a mild annoyance. He drew no heat with this bizarre experiment.
Headphones, Chippendale pants, several forgettable reigns with the United States Championship, weird entrance themes ranging from Jimmy Hart versions of the Fratellis and James Bond: the performer identified as a potential main event workhorse had no real identity. Eventually, Cesaro settled into the role of tag team specialist because WWE never saw him as a marquee singles performer. He was incompatible with the company’s trademark sports entertainment storytelling.
Cesaro cannot navigate the WWE opening segment, and WWE thus won’t push him as a main event singles act. That is the depressing sum of it. Things might change under this new Bischoff/Heyman Era. Then again, Seth Rollins might do cringe comedy on a talk show a few weeks after RAW briefly headed in an interesting direction. If the view never changes, WWE’s perception of Cesaro doesn’t, either. Cesaro is at best a capable talker who lacks the charisma and smoothness with which to spar with those who can go 20 minutes where, unfortunately, it counts.
Subjectively, who gives a toss about that? Objectively, WWE does.
This mentality is why Lacey Evans receives more opportunities than Asuka, why Baron Corbin was Seth Rollins’ antagonist, and not Andrade. The mentality pervades throughout WWE and is indiscriminate of even the most genius of talent. WWE demands verbal polish of its pushed singles performers, and Vince McMahon will not attach unnatural talkers to a mouthpiece because he simply does not like managers. The tentative experiment of 2018 is already over. Valets yes, managers no. And oddly, a valet doesn’t count for much, either. Zelina Vega is excellent in her role, but it’s redundant: per reports, Vince McMahon is still insistent that Andrade learn English before he is pushed further up the card.
CONT'D...(3 of 5)