The Undertaker Confirmed For WWE's Next Saudi Arabia Show

Just embrace the comedy aspect at this point.

Undertaker Rusev Casket Match
WWE

Per the Wrestling Observer Newsletter, the Undertaker is confirmed for WWE's next, as-yet-unnamed Saudi Arabia show.

"That means the Undertaker is not retired," Meltzer followed up helpfully.

Longtime fans of the Dead Man may wish to look away now, provided they don't wish to taint their memories of the legendary performer. It's safe to infer, given 'Taker's lack of WrestleMania involvement, that he is not remotely fit for a performance of true value. Arguably, this much was clear at Crown Jewel, at which 'Taker struggled badly against both the returning Shawn Michaels, whose moonsault he failed to catch, and his hair, which he failed to blow away from his eyeballs.

To editorialise, there are few if any acts left from 'Taker's past with which to run through his greatest hits, à la the Brothers of Destruction Vs. DX. A John Cena match could, theoretically, compensate for the lack of action with stalling and spectacle, but Cena refused to appear at Crown Jewel in fear of his burgeoning reputation. Any continuation of last year's protests will rule out Daniel Bryan and Roman Reigns, too.

Let's face it: 'Taker is going to make an interchangeable midcard act Rest In Peace, hopefully in one of the old gimmick matches synonymous with the character. This serves a dual purpose:

1) It will allow for certain shortcuts to drama, and the sort of big dumb fun impossible in his depressing traditional matches of recent years.

2) Most of these gimmick bouts lean on death symbolism, which will add a perverse layer of unintentional satire to proceedings.

So a Buried Alive Match with Randy Orton, or something.

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Former Power Slam Magazine scribe and author of Development Hell: The NXT Story - available NOW on shop.whatculture.com!