What WWE Can Learn From UFC 229

by Michael Sidgwick
finn balor
WWE.com

Fans, repelled by the lameness of it all, could only muster subdued chants of “What?” Lashley, meanwhile, instructed to wear a “big smile out there”, to quote the real man of the hour, acted like a “b*tch”. Later in the programme, Zayn questioned Lashley’s military background. As ordered, Lashley ran an assault course to prove otherwise. He actually did it, and though he promised to beat Sami’s “butt” afterwards, Zayn set upon him immediately. The programme did end with Lashley’s belated vengeance, but by that point, nobody cared. Lashley was just another all-smiles babyface guy in WWE’s schoolyard. Obviously, he's as bad at promos as Conor is untouchable, but there's excuse to frame him as such a p*ss ant.

Supposedly, Khabib was provoked into a response by Dillon Danis. If this were to have taken place not in the octagon but the squared circle, he’d have stared at him slack-jawed in mock anger before succumbing to the distraction.

Lashley is far from the only who-the-fook-is-dis-guy within the WWE ranks.

AJ Styles complained to management when Samoa Joe dragged he and his family down to personal hell. Why did he wait for the third match to immediately target Joe’s big mouth? Why does Finn Bálor just smile, vacantly, at Constable Corbin? Why does Rusev just stare helplessly at Lana, when Aiden English accuses her of destroying their marriage? In WWE, it’s a world of Jeremy Stephens: outwitted acts impossible to take seriously. Where are the balls on these guys? When is enough enough?

To use a phrase from another, legitimate sport in football, UFC 229 Vs. WWE Super Show-Down was “men against boys” - quite ironic, given the accumulated age of DX and the Brothers of Destruction.

At UFC 229, once all was said and done, no matter whose side you were on, the men of the lightweight division, high on the untethered autonomy afforded to them to promote the fight, improvised a seminal pro wrestling angle to book their own rematch. It was stranger, and better, than fiction. The Superstars of WWE, meanwhile, stare helplessly at a preordained script that portrays them as boys.

Short of ripping it up, WWE could do with throwing a steel dolly through the formula.

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Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and surefire Undisputed WWE Universal Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!