Why WWE F*cked The Revival Last Night
No Fists, Just Sh*t.
On January 19, 2015, the Ascension tandem of Konnor and Viktor had the temerity to interrupt the New World Order’s nostalgic love-in.
JBL, court-appointed vanguard of old school, took profound offence at this work of fiction, working himself into a shoot at the slightest provocation. “You can paint yourself green; that doesn’t make you a frog any more than wearing shoulder pads and spikes and paintin’ your face makes you a legendary tag team!”
“These guys are still young guys!” said Booker T on commentary, the subtext reading: sure, they are abysmal, but they are in acceptable physical condition.
Those young guys, who obviously didn’t compare themselves to the Road Warriors of their own volition - rendering this a totally bizarre punishment for no crime whatsoever - were subsequently battered by the nWo, the APA, and the New Age Outlaws. Used to be, to get this embarrassing a kicking, you’d have to walk into WWE with a bad attitude. Nowadays, you just have to walk in.
The Ascension went on to defeat the New Age Outlaws at the subsequent Royal Rumble pay-per-view. Nobody remembers that result, and that’s not merely because the match might have been dire, if it weren’t so forgettable. No: people remember this burial because it stigmatised them as complete wannabes forever.
On last night’s ballyhooed RAW25 special, the Revival, one of the best, most refreshing acts on the entire wrestling scene, were subjected to this toxic, counterproductive circle jerk, confirming the worst fears dreamed up by a fanbase conditioned to expect the worst.
Triple H welcomed the Manhattan Center crowd back from the wildly unpopular slumber that was the glorified viewing party. “We didn’t come alone,” he teased. Enter Billy Gunn and Road Dogg, who looks more and more like a sub-Kid Rock douchebag the more he runs SmackDown into the ground. X-Pac received a touching reaction, especially given the warped revisionist history that has undermined his otherwise superb career. It’s a shame that 2001 is more remembered than 1993. It’s a shame that we are doomed to repeat 2001 over and over again, for that matter: WWE was and sadly remains a company simultaneously stroking itself and fading badly in popularity.
X-Pac then introduced Razor Ramon, whose entrance was interrupted by a commercial break. It was stirring to see the man back again, when they bothered to film him. That was the height of the segment. As sure as the bloody rain, WWE soon p*ssed on the chips of those fans who have endured nostalgia for longer than the subject of that nostalgia was actually in vogue. CONT'D...