2. Hulk Hogan vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin
Hulk Hogan is the most famous wrestler of all time, bar none. Throughout his storied career, Hulk has sold more tickets, more merchandise and more PPV buys than any other wrestler who ever lived...or so the story goes. In reality, Hulk Hogan is a mediocre wrestler with a reputation for political backstabbing that would have Dick Cheney running for cover. He is hated by many wrestling fans who grew up loving him, because he has consistently refused to be a team player and has held many other wrestlers down over the course of his career. Whilst that is undeniably true, Hogan is also the most charismatic wrestler ever to lace up a pair of boots. He is a great interview subject and an imposing tower of muscle, and those traits helped him to convincingly play fantasy big brother to an entire generation of 80's kids (including the writer of this article). With Hogan as his poster boy, super promoter Vince McMahon was able to build wrestling into a multi-million dollar industry, molding his TV shows and gala PPV events around the impossibly big man in the red and yellow. In his heyday, Hogan saw off Iraqi sympathisers like Sgt. Slaughter, monster heels like Yokozuna, King Kong Bundy and Earthquake and even would-be Hollywood stars who were jealous of his fame (Zeus). McMahon's biggest mistake, however, was not forcing Hogan to job (lose) once in a while, and thus the pair of them ended up denying waiting stars like "Million Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase, Ravishing Rick Rude, Ricky Steamboat and others a shot at the gold. This would have kept Hogan's feuds interesting, whilst also allowing the WWF to stay afloat without him. But that would have been in McMahon's best interest,
not Hogan's... A
huge star in the WWF, WCW, TNA and Japan, Hulk Hogan was the greatest force that pro wrestling had ever seen and, to some degree, he still is. As a dedicated Hulkamaniac growing up, it has saddened me many times over the years to learn of Hogan's various negative traits, but he is still one half of the team most responsible for transforming the industry from plain old rasslin' to sports entertainment, and he has made a lot of people very rich and put food on an awful lot of tables. With the exception of Andre the Giant, no man in wrestling has ever been as big a draw as Hogan...Well, except maybe one... In the mid-late 1990's, Stone Cold Steve Austin became the poster boy for a new generation of wrestling fans, the Hogan of his era. Whilst The Hulkster had extolled the virtues of prayer, vitamins and exercise, Austin drawled menacingly whilst giving the fans the finger, downing numerous beers and kicking his boss in the balls. The Stone Cold character began life as a foul mouthed, anti-establishment heel, but eventually grew into a foul mouthed, anti establishment babyface...Sort of. Austin didn't give a damn whether the fans cheered him or not, and simply went about doing what he did, night in and night out. His popularity exploded as his rough and ready image spearheaded the period that would become known to wrestling fans as The Attitude Era. Austin quickly became the star of the show, allowing the next generation of stars to mature into main event caliber attractions while he fed off of red hot feuds with Jake "The Snake" Roberts, Shawn Michaels, Mankind, Bret "Hitman" Hart and, of course, Vince McMahon's on-screen heel persona, Mr. McMahon. Sadly, Austin isn't remembered as much for his in-ring abilities as he is for his charisma and his massive drawing power. This is because, 1) he was accidentally injured by Owen Hart and never fully recovered and 2) by the time his star was finally able to rise to the top, he had already been in the business for a number of years and was more than a little worn down. By the time casual fans turned back over to WWF programming, Austin was working a totally different style, more rough-housing and brawling than technical wrestling. However, in his heyday, Austin was a sublime wrestler, getting noticed by guys like Ricky Steamboat, Mick Foley and Bret Hart long before management decided to do anything serious with him. Even post-injury, Austin was a cardio machine, able to go for as long as it took, every single night. His knees may have buckled and popped under those distinctive metal braces, but he was still somehow able to hit a Lou Thesz press in every match (and even cannily used the braces as weapons in the ring). There are only a few wrestlers in the history of the sport who could match Austin for sheer charisma and Hogan is one of them. The match would probably follow similar parameters to those set out by Hogan vs The Rock at Wrestlemania X-8, except that I find it hard to work out how to pitch it. If this is classic Hogan climbing into the ring, with the red and yellow trunks and what-have-you, then Austin would have to be cast in the role of the despicable heel. However, if it was nWo-era Hogan, then Austin would be the babyface and likely have to fight off the other 25 million members of that faction before he even got to The Hulkster. If the match was pitched for today's post-Attitude, post-ECW, post-everything audience, then it would really be the meeting to two wrestling icons (although there is a good chance that Hogan would refuse to lose, like he did with Shawn Michaels at SummerSlam a few years back). Assuming that Austin was injury free and in full super-worker form, I imagine that he would carry the match, being by far the better storyteller of the two. Hogan could do the "hulking up" routine and Austin could take a long time to get him down, but it would be vindicating when he finally managed it. Ultimately, Austin, who was never afraid to cheat, even as a babyface, would settle this one with a steel chair, allowing Hogan to save face, but leaving a bloodied Austin's hand held high. If it makes you feel better, Hulkamaniacs, may I remind you that Hogan did say in a recent interview that he wished he could have put Austin over.
WINNER: Stone Cold Steve Austin