WWE: 9 Unforgivably Stupid Gimmicks That Ruined Great Characters
9. Kane The Murderer
Kane is one of the most enduring characters in all of wrestling, and incredibly, this is despite the fact that he's had some of the dumbest storylines in the sport's history. He's been involved in anger management classes, battled an imposter and put on a suit to become part of The Authority, but most infamously, we saw WWE retcon all of Kane's back story and expose him as a killer. Back in 2003, WWE was going through a bit of an identity crisis: the popularity of the Attitude era had ended, The WCW Invasion had flopped and Steve Austin and The Rock were no longer full-time stars. WWE began scripting more ridiculous storylines that were at times offensive (HLA anyone?), but more often, just downright awful. The worst victim of this was Kane, who was asked to star in the amazingly stupid storyline that revolved around a deceased former lover named Katie Vick. For years, we had all known Kane as Undertaker's evil half-brother who was basically raised in a basement. Then WWE decided to throw that all away so they could say he "murdered" a past girlfriend on his way to a wrestling show. Apparently Kane wasn't a very good driver and got into an accident in which Katie was killed, but the monster himself survived. Years later, this was all good fun for Triple H, who called out Kane publicly for being a murderer. The two engaged in a feud that resorted to Hunter simulating sex with a mannequin in a funeral home and pretending it was Vick. Not only was this a lowlight in Kane's career, but it remains one of the worst moments in wrestling history. Thankfully, the feud only lasted a few weeks, but it felt like years. Kane did eventually recover from the colossally stupid storyline, as he always does, but only until his next idiotic one, which is always right around the corner.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com