Would Trish Stratus have been more over if we saw her brother yelling at her about her taste in men? Would Lita have been a bigger star if we saw what kind of sex toys she had? Would Miss Elizabeth have been classier if we had seen her just finish pooping on Macho Mans bus? Yet here we are, with another season of Total Divas upon us, which is destined to make every woman on the show become less likable. Im not sure if theres anything in all of wrestling that irks me more than Total Divas. Besides it being terrible in every conceivable way, its the fact that some storylines from a reality show carry over to WWE cannon. On this weeks episode, we had Paige playing a prank on Natalya saying that a brownie she ate was actually a pot brownie. Nattie bought it and freaked out. This story carried over to Raw. Did anything else? Are Nikki Bella and John Cena together on Raw? No. Are The Bellas constantly feuding on Raw these days? No. Does Raw tell us that wrestling is pre-determined like Total Divas does? No. Oh, okay, so were supposed to accept just one thing from the previous nights show (that was filmed five months ago), but not every other storyline. Its madness! Just dont bother mixing storylines and well all be better off WWE. Actually, just cancel Total Divas and burn all the existing footage from the show, and well all be much better off.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
