WrestleMania is close. So close you can smell it. And it stinks! Its like being drenched in a mixture of Kanes and Fake Kanes sweat. Theres so many unanswered questions right now, that WWE may or may not bother to address, that it makes the show feel as lackluster as that time every announcer wore a toga to Mania. For starters, what is Bray Wyatt going to be doing at the show? Why does no one bother to tell us that Kalisto already beat Ryback in a televised tournament match? And how did Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, and their driver not see Roman Reigns walk towards them from approximately 200 feet away? And all they had to do to protect themselves was lock the doors or start driving! The Big Show had the worst line of the week when he exclaimed that Andre the Giant Is the greatest giant of all time, because he is the first giant, and the greatest giant. Hard to argue with that kind of logic. He is the greatest, because he is the greatest! And everyone knows that first always equals best. This is why Duke the Dumpster Droese was a better wrestling janitor than Jim Duggan, because he paved the way! But enough complaining. Wait, no, actually thats exactly what were here to do. So sit back, put on your most comfortable sheep mask, and lets Sister Abigail our way through WWE and TNAs worst of the week!
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
