Holidays are the worst in WWE! At Christmas, wrestlers get hit with presents, and Santa gets run over by a car. At Thanksgiving they get hit with a turkey and pumpkin pie. And at Halloween, we get Miz's head shoved in a bucket full of apples, and a pumpkin slammed on on his head, while also getting beaten with a plastic lightsaber. The Trick or Treat match on SmackDown was like a bad kids film with the bully being made to look silly, and then all the other children laughing at him. Miz, though, once main-evented WrestleMania. Hes a good, obnoxious heel. In theory, there is still money to be made out of him. Putting a freaking pumpkin on his head takes away some of the future money his character could generate! These holiday matches are done in the name of entertainment. I dont know, for the average 7-year-old, this might have been a blast. But if youre trying to convert a friend to wrestling, and they watched this Halloween nightmare with you, then they might not want to be your friend anymore. And you would deserve it.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
