This is me saying this, not my character, country music sucks. -Kofi Kingston on Raw.
Wow. That has to be one of the absolute dumbest things Ive ever heard on a wrestling show. I mean, Rick Steiner telling Chucky to bring his raggedy rear end down here was an abomination of television, but at least Chucky stayed in character! So is Kofi saying that nothing else in that segment was real? Only the country line was legitimate? What about the rest of the show? Is everyone in character? Please explain! Imagine any other TV show, lets say Breaking Bad, and if Walter White had said My character may like selling drugs, but I sure dont! and then he shoots someone. What the hell would that mean? Did the character do that, or Bryan Cranston? Is that guy really dead? Should I be calling the police? Even Whos the Boss? wasnt dumb enough to have Tony Danza say Im not actually a live in nanny everyone, just my character is. during the actual show! Maybe WWE can just tell us during every segment who is in and not in character, that will probably help us understand their groundbreaking and esoteric narrative structure, and is a sure way to turn around that 2.16 rating.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
