WWE Elimination Chamber 2019: Star Ratings For All 7 Matches
Magic shows and sh*t shows; the bizarre fascination of modern WWE, distilled.
What a sh*tty build.
Ruby Riott was the default challenger for Ronda Rousey's RAW Women's Championship, with much of the roster either tied up in the "inaugural" WWE Women's Tag Team Title match, or out injured - and thus, much work had to be done to frame her as a viable challenger. WWE opted to do no work at all, beyond a token win over Nikki Cross, who incidentally, in losing, completes the most hapless generation of NXT acts since 2010. As if to acknowledge how actively tedious a proposition Braun Strowman Vs. Baron Corbin was, WWE simply tacked on a No Disqualification stipulation. This at least enabled Strowman to hurt him more. We thought.
Finn Bálor and Bobby Lashley feuded last year, and we were left to presume that they still weren't fond of one another. It's little wonder WWE didn't run a video package ahead of their match, because it would have just seen Lio Rush shout "Lashley, Lashley, Lashley" for three minutes. Some teams had to earn entry into the Women's Tag Team Title Elimination Chamber match, others didn't. The plot hole isn't an inconvenience, because you can simply live harmoniously in underground tunnels at this point.
Everything Captain Planet Daniel Bryan orbits is the exception, and Kofi Kingston's excellent, rangy gauntlet Iron Man performance heightened intrigue on the go-home SmackDown.
What a sh*tty build.
But what a main event...
7. KICKOFF: Buddy Murphy Vs. Akira Tozawa - Cruiserweight Championship Match
It was difficult not to sympathise with Buddy Murphy—again—when taking in this trademark Kickoff opener.
On RAW, the top full-time heels are somehow less interesting together than they are apart. Baron Corbin, Drew McIntyre and Bobby Lashley exist, some of the time, purely to “protect” a character, Braun Strowman, about whom WWE only selectively cares. The whole development is as cynical as it is chronically boring, and all the while, there’s Murphy—a performer who doesn’t benefit from RAW’s exposure, but generates far more heat from the coldest of beginnings.
Here, he built the match by casually dismissing Tozawa’s chances, using understated, glib facials to tell a story that McIntyre and Corbin tell with desperate shouting and easy smarminess. He physically acted out that story by catching Tozawa’s early suicide dive seamlessly, in a way that put over his strength more than it highlighted the cooperation. The narrative centred on the wrist Murphy injured through his own hubris, which informed the heft of Tozawa’s challenge—all of which led to a phenomenal spot in which Murphy was unable to complete his deadlift top-rope powerbomb, and instead ate a Frankenteiner.
Some obvious thigh-slapping and inconsistent selling on Murphy’s part—it’s hard to begrudge his hunger to get to the big moments, they’re so few and far between—let this down, if we’re being pedantic.
Star Rating: ***3/4