We didn’t think he was actually going to do it.
Ahead of TLC, on WWE Now, a show few even knew existed before Daniel Bryan made it more must-see than the flagship, the New D-Bry insisted that, to save the cows and b*llock us all for killing them, he was going to introduce a new, environmentally-friendly version of the WWE Championship. On a show Vince McMahon certainly doesn’t watch—he doesn’t even watch NXT—it seemed as if Bryan, untethered by direction, had gone into business for himself, especially since there was no follow-through. On last night’s Smackdown, he only went and bloody did it, surprising us all into a storm of memes and controversy.
We are fickle! Fickle! Fickle!
Bryan, of course, isn’t the first WWE Superstar to have fashioned a bespoke championship belt for themselves. It’s a very rare accomplishment, so it’s fitting that Bryan, who deals almost exclusively in that, managed to do what the likes of The Rock failed to do. His Brahma Bull strap, while unique and evocative of his character, didn’t make air.
Those belts that actually made it to TV are ranked here for your delectation/platform to tell us that, actually, "Daniel Brien is a betacuck and his belt is gay,"