WWE Gallery: The Best Of The Baldies

Just try it, Brutus Beefcake.

by Benjamin Richardson
Goldberg Bald Head
WWE

They say "bald is beautiful." As someone going through the agonising process of phasing out their follicles, that particular maxim doesn't always ring true.

In pro-wrestling, more so than almost any other business besides heavy metal and shampoo advertising, flowing, feathery manes have long been de rigeur. There was a time when a short back and sides was as anathema to the industry as luscious long locks were to the army. The '80s had no place for a square-headed mullet dissenter like John Cena.

But, as many men of my brethren will be all too aware, some are less worthy of choice. However, the following wrestlers, rather than wallowing in the woe of their departed postiches, instead made a virtue of their newly nitid noggins. What's more, they could never lose in a hair vs. hair match.

Bald may not always be beautiful, but it often is brutal.

10. The Warlord

Goldberg Bald Head
WWE

Some men go bald with dignity. Others introduce 'combover' to their lexicon. The Warlord went right off into the deep end and began covering his shiny scalp with a massive metal plate, like some sort of industrial Phantom of the Opera. Good Lord, Warlord.

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Editorial Team
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Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.