2. El Torito Loses His Tail, Fans Lose Their Minds
While you couldnt hear El Torito scream after having his tail ripped off (he appears to not be able to talk just like Hornswoggle when he debuted, perhaps Santa Claus will one day give him the ability to speak too) you could clearly hear thousands of fans screaming that they already have too much WWE in their life and cancelling their network subscriptions. The Los Matadores and 3MB feud is just getting out of control, and is so terrible that it undoes every single good thing that WWE is able to accomplish. Sure, The Wyatt Family threatening to attack Jerry Lawler made for some good TV. However, this happened on the same show as a short man grabbing his butt after having his tail that was attached to his costume ripped off. Its not a fair exchange. Some things are just too awful to handle. The stink from El Torito vs. 3MB may actually be retroactively damaging. Recently I discovered that I'm losing the ability to remember great moments like Hogan slamming Andre The Giant, Steve Austin on a Zamboni, and Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage. When I close my eyes now, all I can see is a short man grabbing his butt and running away while JBL and Michael Cole almost give themselves a heart attack from laughing.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
