Impact had a rather strange Knockouts segment this past week. Angelina Love and Velvet Sky received a troubling message from the network. Impact was finally getting cancelled? Nah, apparently the corporate brass just wanted the duo to dress more appropriately on TV. The Beautiful People were upset by this. No one tells them what to do! They decided to show the network whats up and strip for the fans. Turns out it was all a swerve! They wrote the letter themselves. You see, they werent going to strip for us at all. Wed never get to see that! Luckily for womens rights activists everywhere, Gail Kim marched to the ring. She was upset that Love and Sky were making a mockery of the division. She was also irked that the two said they were going to strip and didnt. Yeah, exactly! Wait...what? Anyway, Gail tried to rip off their dresses herself. When that failed, she had Madison Rayne and Brittany do it. As a minor aside, Rayne yelled at Brittany last week that she didnt want her help...I guess that's unless its helping to rip off another womans clothes, then thats totally cool. Im sorry, I just need to think for a second, and see if this makes sense. This might be some form of intricate storytelling that is above me. So Gail Kim was upset that her division was being made a mockery of by the Beautiful People (the same division that once awarded the Knockouts title purely by chance in a lock-box match, the same division that was lead by Brooke Hogan, and the same division that also had Eric Young as one of the tag team champions). To remedy the perceived mockery, and restore some dignity to the division, she wanted to strip down two women to their underwear. No, no this still makes no sense. This just reeks of a Vince Russo special.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
