Hey Kids, dont go to bed, because Mark Henry and Rusev are going to close out the show tonight! Now Im not saying that the same players always have to close out Monday Night Raw, but whatever does close the show should either be something that is satisfying to watch, or a good hook to tune in next week. Mark Henry trying to rally a depressed America wasnt either one of those. Would Henry and Rusevs segment have felt out of place if had taken place two hours earlier? Not at all. But closing out the show with the angle was a head-scratcher. And not the good kind of satisfying head scratch. This was like head lice. What made the segment even more confusing was that Henry was standing tall at the end of the night. Children were proudly waving their miniature American flags and Henry saved a country. No need to order the pay-per-view now! Weve fought off the great Russian menace once and for all. Oh, theres still going to fight at Night of Champions? Can I at least get like 25 cents off my network subscription since the match is now pointless?
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
