Batman: Every Screen Batmobile Ranked From Best To Worst

1. I'll Get Drive Through - Batman Forever

We've put it off for long enough. The only way we're going to be able to accurately and succinctly dissect the worst on-screen Batmobile in the vehicle's long history is by jumping right in. Just tear that plaster right off. It's going to be painful, but it's going to be worth it. We think. We hope. Joel Schumacher's second Caped Crusader movie is the one that gets the most flack €“ for basically everything, from script to set design €“ but that's not exactly fair. His first attempt at making a decent superhero flick, Batman Forever, doesn't deserve to get off so light. It was, after all, the film which brought us Jim Carrey's insufferable Riddler (in a distressingly tight green jumpsuit and ginger buzzcut) and Chris O'Donnell's Robin sorting out his washing using karate. It also brought us, easily, the worst Batmobile ever designed by human hands. Or possibly the devil's hands, which always show up at inopportune times, usually when some irresponsible soul has allowed theirs to go idle. Describing the Batman Forever incarnation of this iconic vehicle as some sort of demon spawn seems to be doing it too much of a service, since that would imply something kinda Satanic and cool. This Batmobile is not Satanic or cool. It's like a lava lamp adapted into being a car. It's like somebody painted a rollerskate black and stuck tin foil to it. It's awful in every conceivable way. This Batmobile doesn't work as a realistic car, and it's not cool enough to pass as €œwho cares if it'd work, it looks AMAZING€. It just looks naff. It looks like the McDonalds Happy Meal approximation of a better Batmobile. We've seen bootleg Batmobiles packaged with off-brand Spider-Man action figures advertised as LEGION OF SUPER-FRIENDS that were better than this. Joel Schumacher, you have many crimes to answer for, but for screwing up the Batmobile so royally? Hang your head in shame, sir.
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Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/

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