After seeing the ghost of Freddie Mercury rock the Olympics ceremony in London last month, we have come up with a list of (mostly) deceased performers who we would like to see paraded on stage for a new tour. Do take the following blasphemy with a pinch of salt. I mean no disrespect, just mild keyboard-gazing insolence.

In no particular order:


1. GG Allin

Who doesn’t want to see a holographic GG Allin assault an unsuspecting crowd like the ruddy poltergeist he would have loved to have become? And maybe through the psychic trauma of a collectively terrified audience, Allin could be resurrected on stage à la Lazarus (except more brimstone, less Nazarethian showmanship from an earnest carpenter) and proceed to lob actual faeces at the crowd.

Who said nostalgia’s for chumps?


2. Aaliyah

I find it genuinely touching that the likes of Missy Elliott and Timbaland still find the time to eulogise their friend, and the prospect of a holographic Aaliyah tour is probably the least tongue-in-cheek suggestion I feel I can make. I honestly believe this could happen. Considering Missy Elliott and Timbaland have both recently made it clear that they’re having nothing to do with the Drake & Noah ‘40’ Shebib curated posthumous Aaliyah album, I suspect that they might not appreciate such an idea. Or would they?

Missy’s manager Mona Scott-Young said (concerning the posthumous Aaliyah album) that ‘Although Missy and Timbaland always strive to keep the memory of their close friend alive, we have not been contacted about the project nor are there any plans at this time to participate’. It’s not impossible to imagine that it could be done in a non-creepy way, as a commemoration of her short life with the input of fellow performers that were dear to her. Imagine a holographic Aaliyah performing a duet with R Kelly, for example. Would that be going too far?

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This article was first posted on September 6, 2012