10 WWE Stars Who BURIED The Writers

Throbbing, blooming major key synthesisers permeate the air.

A twinkling piano line, loaded with the pathos of endeavour and achievement, rises to a crescendo of pure, majestic triumph translated aurally. To the epic wonderment of 'Chariots of Fire' by Vangelis, your writer slo-mo sprints into the comments section, enthusiastically slapping hands with Hiromu Sneck and cupping an ear to each and every one of you who questioned the default negativity setting pre-loaded to the coverage of all things related to WWE television - without actually considering that the pay-per-view coverage is almost uniformly positive. Gushing, even.

Jon Moxley just corroborated that negativity in a jaw-dropping Talk Is Jericho appearance, on which he incinerated the fundamentally rotten WWE creative process.

The talent isn't the issue. The talent, broadly, is exceptional. The talent that soars on a Sunday is also tethered to the whims of a puerile tyrant on Mondays and Tuesdays, and even on those pay-per-view attractions, WWE wants its Sports Entertainers to perform in a certain way. To talk in a certain way. To pose in a certain way. To eat in a certain way. To sh*t in a certain way - live on television, if a writer pitched it, complete with deafening, squelchy raspberry noises.

Moxley had a lot to get out of his system.

Specifically...

At AEW Double Or Nothing, the debuting Jon Moxley tore through Chris Jericho and, climbing the ropes, expertly conveyed the vitality of his new home by breathing in the atmosphere and breathing out a silent 'MOTHERF*CKER'.

Moxley seemed to release his simmering frustrations in that wild, show-closing angle, but to underscore just how infuriating the WWE creative process is, he wasn't anywhere near done. On an instantly legendary Talk Is Jericho appearance this week, he released a further deluge of criticism, borrowing an over-sized shovel from WWE's prop department to cover the organisation in soil.

He recounted a typical day of his life in the bubble.

He awoke to read a message from a writer "he didn't know", who asked him to say unspeakably lame sh*t involving pooper scoopers and riding a unicycle backwards, and spent the remainder of the day, in an anxious panic, attempting to hide this copy from Vince McMahon's juvenile clutches. Moxley essentially framed this as a mad caper of sorts. He said he wanted to play a character indebted to Die Hard's John McClane; instead, behind the scenes, he played Mission Impossible's Ethan Hunt, employing risky stealth measures purely to avoid looking like a complete embarrassment. This work dread affected Moxley so badly that he started to feel physically sick every Monday morning.

He even told Vince this, and given his depiction of the COO's track record, of wildly misinterpreting the Dean Ambrose character and the man behind it, it's genuinely shocking that he wasn't repackaged as the New Droz.