9. The Marine
Watching The Marine is like eating a box of chocolates by yourself, except you’ll be compelled to share the guilt by recommending the movie to friends… who subsequently remove you from their Christmas card list.
Backed by World Wrestling Entertainment, the picture tries to make an action star out of wrestler/rapper John Cena, which guarantees there'll be more action than dialogue. Discharged from the marines because he “disobeyed a direct order”, Cena makes the mistake of pulling into the same gas station as lead villain Robert Patrick, who kidnaps his wife and turns the station into a fireball with him inside. Cena survives (of course), then steals a car and heads off in pursuit.
At its core, The Marine is basically a good old 80s action movie, right down to its running time - it gets everything said and done (and blown up and sent flying through a window) in 90 minutes instead of 3 hours. It’s fast-paced and funny (if Terminator and Deliverance gags are your thing) and stuff blows up real good. What more do you want?