6. Whoopi Goldberg
When somebody gives me guff, I think to myself, What would Whoopi Goldberg do? The answer? Probably glare at them fiercely,
even though she is bereft of eyebrows, before cussing them out in a hilarious fashion, with her patent raspy caw. Whoopi Goldberg is amazing. She is a force of nature. Shes a sci-fi nerd, a talented singer and actress, and a political pundit. Now, you may disagree with her political views sometimes, but you cant help but admire the way she manages to win arguments on
The View. After the rest of the ladies have squabbled over... I dont know, Jesuss face found on a piece of toast or something, there will come a roar from the woman dressed in her custom floaty shirt and sneaks. LEMME TELL YALL WHAT I THINK! And everyone loses their bowels! Because its Whoopi, dammnit, PREACH. Its Oda Mae Brown, Guinan, Sister Mary Clarence, Delilah Abraham! Whoopi Goldberg then tells everyone her opinion, with lots of sass and finger pointing, and then turns to the camera, demanding that they cut to break. And everyone loses their bowels again! Goldberg was a groundbreaker, one of the first African-Americans to ever host the Oscars, a highly respected female comedian, a headlining star, and now whenever she makes a cameo in a production, she brings some extra pizzazz. Okay, okay, Im as biased as hell, but by God, I love farts almost as much as I love Whoopi Goldberg, and so when she
farted on air, before waving it away like it aint no big deal, I knew Whoopi Goldberg is my Spirit Animal.