10 Alternative Christmas Movies

The festive season has been fair game for the horror genre ever since Santa attempted to strangle Joan Collins in Tales From The Crypt (1972), but Elves is the first movie whose gonzo plot involves Nazis, inbreeding and a coke-snorting Santa.

Dan Haggerty plays a homeless ex-cop who having drunk himself out of the job hangs around a local department store begging for work, finally catching a break when their Santa has his nuts cut off by a Nazi elf. When he finds an occult symbol carved into the floor where his predecessor was emasculated, Dan recognises it as the original insignia of the Nazis and comes to realize that elves are in fact Nazi genetic experiments whose leader will mate with a virgin on Christmas Eve to produce the leader of the Fourth Reich. As is explained in The Book of Revelation.

There are ideas and (intentionally?) hilarious lines to spare in this overlooked gem, which is either the greatest horror comedy you’ve never seen or the best “bad” movie since Troll 2. Either way, it’s the best elves and Nazis movie ever shot in Colorado.