10 Alternative Films For Valentine's Day

3. My Bloody Valentine

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Lionsgate

If ever a remake improved upon the original it’s this Fangoria-approved gorefest where eyeballs pop out, heads are split in two and, because it was shot in 3D, pickaxes are thrown at the viewer. The plot involves a crazed miner on the rampage on a small town, but it’s better if you disengage your brain and sit back and enjoy the gory shenanigans.

The director is Patrick Lussier, who graduated from editing Wes Craven’s films to making his own horror pictures, and he’s clearly learnt well from the master. Despite the low budget, Lussier gives the movie a terrific look and pace, and its considerably more entertaining than Friday The 13th, 2009’s “other” slasher remake starring an actor from Supernatural.

Hearts are torn out, jaws are ripped off and in the hands of this movie’s killer, the humble pickaxe becomes a ninja throwing star, capable of taking out an opponent several hundred yards away.

Even judged by horror movie standards, My Bloody Valentine has one of the longest displays of gratuitous nudity as Betsy Rue (also a victim in Rob Zombie’s Halloween II) attempts to outrun the killer wearing only her birthday suit, so if you’re looking for a trashy good time, look no further.

Contributor

Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'